I’m starting this week by reflecting upon something I did recently that didn’t work for me. It feels right for me to use the opportunity of the past couple of days to have a look inside and to write to you about what I did that didn’t feel good for me and about what I see (and have learned) because of it. I’ll give you some background…
Sooooo, with a deep breath and a ‘here goes’ approach, I see that I reacted too quickly and too harshly to someone I was upset with last week. I was upset because that person didn’t keep their word about an agreement we had. I was upset because I didn’t feel that the person was respecting me and my time.
Now, I see that what this person does and how they live their life is their business. I see I could have responded much more elegantly and gracefully than I did. Lesson learned.
I see my reaction was more about me respecting me and my time. Lesson learned.
So, back to my story… I quickly swallowed my pride and apologised and tried to explain where I was coming from. That was my next mistake.
Again, I see I could have apologised and not tried to explain. A simple apology would have been enough. My ego still wanted to be right I notice! Lesson learned.
Next, I allowed the response I got back from this person to lead me into feeling sad and frustrated. All I wanted to do then was to make it right and have an opportunity to talk and to listen and to hear and to be heard. Communication and understanding are keys to success in relationship and I know that sincerely reached out with an open heart. I wouldn’t change what I did there.
I received a closed door to my request for communication and next, I felt shame. I felt ashamed of how I’d handled the situation in the first instance. So, yesterday, I sat with it all. I allowed it. I shed some tears and felt into my pain.
As time is moving on, I feel strong enough to share this with you, in the hope that it may touch something in your life where you know you haven’t acted in the best way you could and where you see you’ve made a mistake. I want to let you know it’s ok. You can forgive yourself. I want to let myself know it’s ok. I can forgive myself.
I saw a post on Facebook today that I’m inspired to share
“The first to apologise is the bravest, the first to forgive is the strongest, and the first to forget is the happiest”. So I invite you to apologise and forgive, and, I would prefer to change ‘to forget is the happiest’ to ‘to learn from it and then let go feels the most peace’.
In love, peace and gratitude to the person who has helped me to see some things, Catherine