Tomorrow, it’s my birthday!

Tomorrow, it’s my birthday. And today, I’m reflecting on the past 45 years. I’m feeling a deep sense of appreciation for where I am, who I am, and, for how my life is unfolding.

I’m also taking a peek into the future.

I feel I have reached a place, where, even though, there are many questions rolling around in my system at the moment, I also have an undeniable feeling of, “it’s all ok, life really is, all ok”… even when there are times, it hurts, and sometimes, it, does, really, hurt, I know all, is, well.

Having been, over the years, and still currently,  being gifted opportunities, to look all of my greatest fears right in the eye, and of accepting the unavoidability of coming face to face with them, as I turn 45, I am humbled to find myself, undeniably, perfectly poised, to journey into the next phase of my life, feeling equipped, and strong, and whole, enough, to really start to express my fullness, and to shine my light, in a much bigger way.

Who I am is not new to me. Who I am is who I have always known myself to be. Even as a very young child, I had a insatiable curiosity about life, about the universe, about how ‘it’ all works… Life always seemed, to me, so deliciously wondrous.

Outwardly, I have hidden much of my natural curiosities. Over the years, I’ve been judged too sensitive, too idealistic, too intense, too naive, too emotional… I have retreated and protected myself to varying degrees.

And now, after 45 years, I know I am ready to take bold steps out into the light, and to show up, as the real ‘me’!

Am I sometimes scared?

Yes.

I wonder what I will reveal, and how I will be received, or not.

Am I sometimes doubtful?

Yes.

I wonder “how?”. “How can I contribute, in the way I long to contribute, to the world being a kinder, more gentle, and compassionate place? …a world where it is ok for each of us to be ourselves, and for us to not feel we have to hide, fit in, and be something we’re not, in order to be accepted and loved.”

Am I ready, to give this all my best shot?

YES! It is who I am, and it is what I came here to do.

Do I know how, do I know exactly how, this calling will manifest, out there, in the world?

No, I don’t.

I have some avenues I am exploring, and, nothing is certain, or ‘a given’, or feels very concrete at the moment. And, I AM ready to voyage into these unchartered waters. I am ready to explore and reveal, the truth of who I am, the heart of who I am. I am ready to talk about the things, that are glaringly present in my awareness. As, we, more and more of us on the planet, take the steps to healing and wholeness, I am called to explore and talk about…

…How, we, as women, as the feminine, show up, powerfully, and, how can we, healthily, allow the masculine to support us, and what that might look like (both in terms of our allowing the support of the men in our lives, and also in terms of us supporting ourselves with our own inner masculine energies)? And, also, I wonder how, what we are asking from our men, impacts, on them, going forward, and on their roles in life, and as well, on our intimate, romantic relationships, together?

I want to dive deeper, into the topic of…

…How we can all, women and men, begin to really shift, in a much bigger way, from a world of ‘haves’ and ‘have nots’, of ‘winners’ and ‘losers’, of comparison and competition, to a world of inclusiveness, of support, of our embracing and accepting all of the surface-level differences between us, to one of cooperation, collaboration and co-creation.

…How we can embody, more and more, our true natures, and so birth, a much healthier, happier, thriving world?

I know it begins on the inside. It begins as we work to heal, and make whole, ourselves, individually. Each of us, I trust, has a part to play, a really, real, and vital part, to play.

I’m curious, I invite you…

…Where is there pain, discomfort or upset, in your life?

…Are you willing, very gently, to begin to ask that discomfort, “What can you show me, how can you make me more whole?”

…Are you available to be with another, to, just, simply, be there, present, as someone else, opens up, feels and expresses, what is true for them, in any given moment, without needing to jump in and try and fix, or rescue, them? Can you be with someone else’s discomfort and not judge or make wrong in any way?

There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ in any of this. For me, the only requirements, are that you are open and willing, to see how you might play your part, in bringing more love and community into the world. For, that, I see, is the only possible way we go forward, as humanity.

I send you so much love. And, I wish you a happy 11th June!

Catherine

Advertisements

Sometimes, life sucks…

…or does it?

Is every obstacle really just a blessing in disguise?

Is every bit of choppiness really just the path  to calmer waters?

IMG_1202

Have you ever had a day, when life. just. feels. hard. When it hurts. And you don’t exactly know what the ‘it’ is? When you’re on the verge of tears, and everything and everyone feels ‘off’, doesn’t ‘get’ you, and nothing feels right? I’m sure you know what I mean?

In the midst of one of those days today, I had an ‘AHA!’…

Here’s what I’ve got, so far (I’m so excited to share this with you!!!).

If I hadn’t woken up this morning feeling tearful and hurting, I wouldn’t be sitting here writing to you right now. Equals a good thing (a.k.a a blessing in disguise)

If I wasn’t blessed with living a life where I pretty much get to choose how I use my time, I wouldn’t be sitting here writing to right now. Equals a good thing.

If I didn’t have the time to fully feel, all of the stuff that I feel (and I have to tell you, some of it feels pretty darn painful), I wouldn’t be sitting here writing to you right now. Again, equals a good thing (you get my drift…?)

The realisation I’ve had, this morning, goes something like this… I am truly blessed to be living this life, my life, the one that I am living. I have so much time, so much support, and so much freedom… things that so many people yearn for, dream of, and don’t experience, in their life, yet.

And so, out of my feeling terrible, I now feel grateful. My heart is open (I’m still teary), and yet in an open hearted way. Tears of gratitude.

I am grateful for my husband who loves and supports me. In so many ways.

I am grateful for all my beautiful women friends who love and encourage me. In so many ways.

I am grateful for all the ‘difficult’ things in my life, that I now see, today, are my opportunities to feel, to open, to share, to write from my experience, from my heart, direct to yours… to let you know you are not alone. We are all in this together. This human experience, this living our lives thing. And so now, I feel connected. I no longer feel alone. Each and every one of us, whether we choose to accept it or not, are all the same. If only, if only (and this is where I can be of service and I see I can make a difference) we all choose to accept it, and share it, all the ‘its’ that we feel bad, or ashamed, or stupid, or silly, or scared to share.

Because one thing I know for sure. Is this. If we could all just let down our guard, open our hearts, and start to be really real with each other, then the world could quite literally change in an instant. We could be one human being talking with another human being, fully accepting and ok with, the fullness (‘good/acceptable’ and ‘bad/unacceptable’) of who we all are.

So, when something shows up in your life that you think you don’t want, here’s what I gently invite you to ask yourself…

What is this thing here to show me, teach me?

What do I have to learn here?

What I am avoiding that this thing is trying to help me with?

There truly is gold in every challenge, if only we are patient and gentle enough with ourselves to investigate it. The path to peace, really, is, within.

Sending you so much love always,

Catherine